So I have decided to update my Blog.. its been FOREVER!! This last year has been a roller coaster, meaning it has had its up's and down's. It seems like as I start going up.. all the sudden I'm back down! For those of you who don't know I am a Jr in high school...but trying to graduate this year...so a year early. Some might say I'm an over achiever but its just been a goal of mine since about july of last year! lol kinda was a little late to decide, I am now thinking, because I'm so crazy busy its kinda getting to be discouraging, and hard. Stress pushes me most the time... but sometimes it shuts me down, to the point I don't want to do anything. which don't get me anywhere! I have tried setting a schedule for myself, so i can organize all my classes and when I gotta do a certain thing for a class. Its been helpful. As of right now I have 14 classes. Its hard. 7 online and 7 in school. I have been trying so hard to do this, but i know it will all be worth it in the end. At the beginning of this school year I went through one of thee most hardest trials I think I have EVER gone through alone. It shut me down completely. I honestly at night would find myself thinking of killing myself... or running away, just to get away. I have never thought of hurting myself before this point. EVER. Here's a short story of what happened. I was taking an english class with one of my most favorite teachers from 9th grade. He's class is super easy, thought it would be nice to have a easy class with ALL the other classes I am taking. So keep in mind this is August, well the class I was in I though was a super good class. At first there was no seating chart, so I of corse sat by my friends, we stayed caught up in the class, we stayed on task, we had a A in the class. Well my teacher Mr. Jepson decided that why not do a seating chart? This was about September 10th somewhere around there. I got put on the right side of the classroom where there where 12 desks on this side of the room, I you can picture it in your head, just picture 12 desks with me smack dab in the middle. After Mr. Jepson got us arranged, we started class. I was trying to pay attention like normal, wasn't texting, just trying to get a A to graduate. When he gave us time to work in groups with the new "friends" (he called them..) we were sitting by, I honestly have never liked the people I was sitting next to. EVER. They all were kids that really didn't care who they offended and didn't care who they bugged. I thought to myself that I was just going to ignore them and not give them a chance to try and bring me into there little "group". When group work had finally started, these 11 kids (not including me, i'm number 12) were not talking about "group work" stuff, They were talking about thee most vullger and the most sickest things you can imagine. these kids are only 16 and were talking about thing me or my parents didn't even know about. I hope your keeping in mind this is now september, this went on till November 13th or something, and it just got worse. touching, rubbing, talking, vivid images play through my head every time i see these kids now. 3 months later, my mom pulled up my grades one day when I was hanging out with a few of my friends, if you talked to them, they would say i was super quiet and didn't let my boyfriend touch me, didn't want him to be near me just because of hearing, seeing, the stuff i did for 3 months from 11 students. Well when they went home my mom came to me and asked me what was with my grades, I said "what do you mean?" she said "Carlie you have all F's and one D+. what the heck? I have never seen your grades so low. you are always on top of things. what is going on?" I said "nothing." my mom made me sit down at the table and she said "There is something going on, your in your room all the time, your grades are down, you won't even talk to me like you used to, and you won't even try and have fun when your friends are over." THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG!!" So I told her EVERYTHING. from day one to 3 months later. She was Pissed. She emailed the teacher, nothing changed, so she did it again with a little more a....we will say anger!! The number on thing we wanted to get across was that MY NAME was NOT to get out to any of the 11 Students. Well it...didn't work... for about a week, till in the computer lab Mr. Jepson must have gotten my moms email, and he got pissed. called all the 11 kids out to be talked to. they came in pissed, and I left because I was Afraid. well they all assumed it was me, so for the next 2 weeks in class I got Harassed, and sexually Harassed in halls and in class. Was the Worst 2 weeks of my life. My mom and me went to the administrative but they didn't believe me, till 2 days later I went in crying because my mom emailed my teacher and said that she wanted a new seating chart for the the entire class, well he moved me in front of the entire class. Only me. so I got even more harassed. It was terrible. It was Hell to say the least. After that the administrative finally believed me. Me and my mom spent about a week with them trying to get things fixed up. I had to transfer out and have been doing amazing in the class I'm in now with the teacher I have now. I love her. But I have gotten harassed a few more times since then but we didn't mess with administrative we went to security! That was the first 4 months of school for me though. it was a terrible trial. Obliviously if i would think about hurting myself. I grew from it in many ways though. And am working so much more harder to graduate then if i would have if i could have stayed on track with school and different things. I am president of FCCLA which is a national organization, Spanish Fork High School took Region because of me:) and we are going to State on March 21 and 22!! I'm Excited! its been a lot of work! but i guess worth it. these pictures below are some of my sinor pictures, in strawberry!
Here is me and my BEST FRIEND/ Boyfriend. we have been through a lot together. Honestly i think that really is what has made us who we are today, and how close we are as friends and a little more. I am honestly so grateful i have a friend like him. Jared is amazing, he treats me like a queen if not more, sometimes i don't deserve it because I'm ornery or something, i dunno. but he is amazing. so i made him come with me to get my pictures because he has been my best friend through everything.
SUMMER!!! was AMAZING to say the least! I had the most amazing people to hangout with all summer long! Family, Friends. I love them all. Jared's and I's most favorite thing to do though was to Go 4 wheeling, Digging;) (only in a Chevy tho:)) and hanging out at the res! we loved it! mostly just being as friends and together! it was nice. I really didn't think he liked me at all till like july... lol but i guess he did! i finally got the memo! these pictures are from some of our camping four wheeling trip! Jared didn't think i could get dirty every time we would do something like this... so on the way back i decided that i was going to go through a mud puddle as fast as i could! so i did! And I proved him wrong! ha Sometimes guys are so dumb! Of corse i can get dirty!! a little mud on the tires or face is not going to hurt! 
snow days! lol my fault! I told him i didn't think he could really take me out in the snow.. i really didn't think he would dare! but he did. We both got even! lol no one won! I wasn't afraid to get a little cold! neither was he i guess!
Yes!!! I did Powder Puff football! It was a lot of fun!!! my team didn't make it! but hey its all good! i look so sexy!! haha just kiddin! i wish it would have been soccer i would have kicked some butt!
BRYAN, JARED, CARLIE= BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!!! :)
And the truck picture yeah its random...but isn't it totally worth waiting till the end to see... its such a good looking truck!!! Right? yeah it saved my life! more then once! so why not add a beauty for the last picture? yeah thats what i thought!
No comments:
Post a Comment